Take a peek at your room!

= Aloha room with indoor hot tub, massauges, and free oats under the pillows.


= Sweet slumber room w/ room service, cable, and free oat buffets!

Post the codes in the comments to choose your stoat's/stoats' room!

Community Center = LAS VEGAS HOTEL!!!

The community center is being temporarily used by the senior stoats for their bingo night... SO WE GET STAY HERE!!!!

It's the luxiorious "Stoat Slumber & Suana"

It's quite beautiful, so remember to post: 43LOCKdown21_ _ so that your stoats can stay safe!

Attack of the badgers!

RUN!!! The badger townsfolk are following bad benny in a mad rush for ALL the stoats! SAVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP your stoat by posting the following code under the comments: 43LOCKdown21_ _

By posting this, your stoat will go to the community center until the drill is over. Save your little pal from the army of badgers before it too gets eaten! AaAaHh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bad Benny gets a hairdo!

Bad Benny... looks... different... Ummm... VERY different. Here you go. Shield your eyes:

Uh. Look out for Bad Benny... And his new, scary hairdo...

Bad Benny Returns!

Bad Benny Badger just bought a new toasteroven and he's DYING to try it out! He's given up on Garfield and the others and has decided to try his luck on: Onyx, Fonzo, Lunetta, and Grim! Oh, wait. You don't know Grim! Okay y'all! here he is! The king of all evil, Grim!

Or not!

Eastern Weasel Parade!

Lunetta: Howdy folks, and welcome to luxorious 1314 East Celebration St. in San Frinsisco! I'm Lunetta Star here to commentate the event with my partner, Old Joe Otter!

Old Joe: Hi! Lunetta, what do you think of the weather today?

Lunetta: Well, to tell the truth, it's a bit wet out here, don't you think?

Old Joe: Well, I LOVE rainy weather! That's why I came to watch!

Lunetta: Mmmkay? Oooh, Joe, I see the first float coming our way! It's from the Chinese Weasel Carnival that showed up last year, and I guess it's making it's turn into town today just for us at the Eastern Weasel Parade!

Old Joe: Oh, look at the city lights!

Lunetta: Oh my, and they look stunning as we pass our next float, The Snowy Stoat. I heard that float had some technical difficulties on the way up here. Why? Because the snowy stoat that you see is alive!

Old Joe: Who is this beauty on the San Fransisco bay? Why it's none other than Madonna Stoat!

Lunetta: Oh, she's absolutely marvelous as she passes the street and heads for the harbor.

Old Joe: Hey, don't look now, but I see our surprise guest heading up here to greet us for her interview! Who is it? It's the beautiful, the ravishing, the gorgeous, the--

Lunetta: It's Charlotte!

Charlotte: (waves) Hi, everyone!

Lunetta: So, I hear that you're getting married.

Charlotte: Huh? What're you talking about?

Lunetta: To Ermin!!! It was all over the news! Didn't you hear?

Charlotte: WHAT!?!?!?!? ERMIN GET OVER HERE!!!

(Ermin sulks in)

Ermin: Uh, hi... Heheh... GOTTA GO!!!!

Charlotte: FREEZE!!! What did you tell the reporters???

Ermin: Um, nothing!

Charlotte: Sorry, you'll have to excuse us for a sec. YEAH, ERMIN, YOU'D BETTER RUN!!!!

Lunetta: Uh, you know, I think we should get back to the parade!

Old Joe: Yeah! For sure! Hey, look! It's the Celebrate Evil float, led by--who else--Ginger!

Lunetta: Hey, look, she's doing something! She's--Oh wow.

Old JOe: Wow is right. LEt's forget that happened!!!!

LUNETTA: OMG!!!! It's charlotte! She looks absolutely captivating tonight on her very own float!

Old Joe: Look at her! Absolutely bbeautiful, is she not? Did you hear aboout her victory in the beauty pagent?

Lunetta: Hmph. (grumble grumble) So she won a car. I could've won that contest if I wanted to. I just wanted to let her win. You know, make her feel special since she was new to town that day.

Old Joe: But she wasn't new to town, you were!

Lunetta: SHUT UP!!! Oh, whaddya know, it's Onyx!

Old Joe: Who?

Lunetta: MY sister! Oh, look at her go by! She's beautiful!

Old Joe: But, why is she on a float if she's not rich or famous?

Lunetta: BEcause she too, is a new member of Stoats-eat-oats, all the way from China!

She came just to see the parade!

Old Joe: From CHINA!?!? That's a little bit out there don't ya think?

Lunetta: So? She loves oats, even though they way she eats them, they taste more bitter. OKay, OKAY!!! They're so bitter that it took her twelve years to adjust to them!

Old JOe: Wow. She's gorgeos!

Lunetta: i know! And here she is as our guest speaker!

Onyx: (giggles) Um, hi... Heehee!

Old Joe: So why did you come to stoats eat oats?

Onyx: BEcause of the weather. It's so crisp and brisk, so.. so... ready for me. I love my family which is also why I moved.

Lunetta: aw, I love you too, sis! Say, how do you know English?

Onyx: I took classes before I came!

Old Joe: Say, what's an onyx?

Onyx: It's type of black stone or mineral. It's very beautilful.

Old Joe: And so are you! Thank you for joining us today, as we wrap up the Eastern Weasle Parade! Thank you for joining us!

Onyx: My pleasure! See ya round!

Lunetta: Indeed!

Martin to the rescue!

So, anyways, ya. I hate all of you because you all eat oats when all i want to eat is cheese. because of this, you'll all be dead in the morning. congratulations.

anonymous voice from nowhere: congrats to you too!!!! congrats for being the first stoat ever to get a woopin' from Martin Ed Stoat!!!

WHAT!?!?!?

Martin: Let go of Lunetta and my town. (growls) Now.

NO! THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO BE OVER-POWERED BY SOME WIERDO WHOSE MIDDLE NAME IS ED!!!!

Martin: Uh, can we forget about that part?

Other anonymous voice from nowhere: Of course, sonny.

Martin: Old Joe, you came back!

Old Joe: Of course! You guys are my type of people! I mean, who else would let me eat honeycoated-oats in public?

NO!!! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Old Joe: Step aside, little baby! Watch me do my thing. (picks up Ginger)

No, no. Hey. HEY!!! What are you doing? NO! HEY!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Old Joe: (brushes paws) I wasn't V.I.P. in shotput during college for nothing!

Martin: Wow, she really covered some distance. Oh my gosh, she's still going!

a 3rd anonymous voice from nowhere: Hey, guys. Hey, is that Ginger out the window?

Martin: Lunetta!!! Are you okay?

Lunetta: (brushes dust off) Yeah. I just need a bath. A really long bath.

Martin: OMG, Lunetta, what's wrong with your legs?

Lunetta: Nothing, Martin, I'll be fine. OOF!

Old Joe: You broke your legs... All four of them!

Martin: Well, it looks like we're going to be spending some time together.

Lunetta: (grumbles) Yeah, in the hospital. This stinks.

Old Joe: Not entirely. I don't think I'm ready to be your president. But I know someone who is. (looks at writer)

Author: Who ME???? Oh you people are so sweet! But seriously, are you sure?

All: YES!!!

Author: Really? Uh, how about I just stick to posting the news?

All: Okay!

Lunetta: But who's going to be president?

Martin: The person with the second most votes.

Lunetta: (cries with joy) That was me! Oh my gosh, I'm so proud!

MArtin: I'm so happy for you!

Old Joe: Me too!

And so readers, let our stoat friends, and our otter friend, be in peace for the moment. For the world at last, is happy and meaningful again.

New Decree by Ginger

My next decree is that if you are sad, you must come to me for answers. If not,
I will hold you all captive. Besides, its not like you're all going to be rescued! Ooo! I see a sad person! You there, Lunetta?

Lunetta: Yes?

I have all the answers. Let me solve your problems! NOW!!!!

Lunetta: No! I'm not afraid of you! This problem is between me and Martin!

Fine! SECURITY!!!!! I'm going to put you in the brig! (snorts) Or as I like to call it, the-evil-place-under-the-ground-where-people-like-you-go-BOOM!!!! MUHUHUHUHUUHUHUHUHUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lunetta: No! Please! Martin, if you're watching, I forgive you! Help me!!! Aaahh!

SHUT UP!!! DON'T LISTEN TO HER MARTIN!!!! SHE HATES YOU!!!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!! Muhuhuhuh! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday to me...

Hello, fellow stoats. It's me, your ruler, Ginger. Bow down one and all. Oh yeah! I got the power! Uhuhuh! I mean, uh, I think you may have noticed the changes going about here in our little town. Yes, they were all my doing and I'd like you to hear a plot that I've been thinking of ever since I moved here. First, I wanted you saps to trust me and believe that I was kind. Next, I waited patiently for my birthday. Then, I asked the old stupid president to let me be president for a week. (snickers) His worst move ever. Then, I turn our town into my own evil paradise. And now, here I am, about to expose his secret to you all. Old Joe is no stoat--He is an otter!!! Yes, yes, I am pleased to tell you that he is staying in Hawaii forever. He knew the moment I wanted to be the president that I would expose him. He leaves me in charge forever. But worry not. He was no great president. He was a liar, not to tell the people who cared for him and loved him about his true identity. He was also a traitor, not to come to your rescue when he knew your fate. But now, you will be under MY command! Fear me if you dare! Muhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh! (snorts) What are you looking at, CHUMPS!?!?!? Hmph! I can be evil if I want to. Size doesn't matter. I got all the way here, didn't I? Grrrrr... (tackles surrounding people) Muhuhuhuh!!! Oh, am I still on? Cut! I SAID CUT!!!! -----------

Happy Birthday, Ginger!

Ginger, our guru, is having her sixth birthday today! I, Old Joe, our president, have granted her one wish. What is your wish, Ginger?

Ginger: Umm... To be president for a week!

Well, Ginger, the office is waiting for you! Congratulations. (snickers) Hooray! Now I can go to Hawaii for a whole week! See ya! Ginger's gonna post now! I'll be back in a week!

Welcome your new president! (I'm serious this time!!!)

After over a week of available voting our proud president has arrived, and will now take over the posting of updates. (sniffles) Which means, I won't be posting anymore. Your new president will. Oh, well! Say hello to your new president...

Old Joe!

Congratulations, Joe, we are so happy for you! What is your first motion as President?

Joe: Well... Hmm... I know now! A BIG, ROUND, CAKE!!!!

Well, I guess I'll sign off here (I'd better get working on that cake!) . See ya round! I'll always be somewhere here... You just won't know where. Adios, amigos!

Ring the Wedding Bells!

An unexpected marriage was announced yesterday by the most unexpected couple... ladies & gentleman... give it up for... CHARLOTTE AND ERMIN!!! It was rather surprising, but congrats!

The Wolf is found... NOT GUILTY!!! WHOOP WHOOP!!!!

After five possible days of voting, the wolf is found unguilty of crime against Martin the Stoat! The wolf plans to stay here in Stoats-eat-oats and has volunteered to be a lookout on the outskirts of town.