Take a peek at your room!

= Aloha room with indoor hot tub, massauges, and free oats under the pillows.


= Sweet slumber room w/ room service, cable, and free oat buffets!

Post the codes in the comments to choose your stoat's/stoats' room!

Community Center = LAS VEGAS HOTEL!!!

The community center is being temporarily used by the senior stoats for their bingo night... SO WE GET STAY HERE!!!!

It's the luxiorious "Stoat Slumber & Suana"

It's quite beautiful, so remember to post: 43LOCKdown21_ _ so that your stoats can stay safe!

Attack of the badgers!

RUN!!! The badger townsfolk are following bad benny in a mad rush for ALL the stoats! SAVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP your stoat by posting the following code under the comments: 43LOCKdown21_ _

By posting this, your stoat will go to the community center until the drill is over. Save your little pal from the army of badgers before it too gets eaten! AaAaHh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bad Benny gets a hairdo!

Bad Benny... looks... different... Ummm... VERY different. Here you go. Shield your eyes:

Uh. Look out for Bad Benny... And his new, scary hairdo...

Bad Benny Returns!

Bad Benny Badger just bought a new toasteroven and he's DYING to try it out! He's given up on Garfield and the others and has decided to try his luck on: Onyx, Fonzo, Lunetta, and Grim! Oh, wait. You don't know Grim! Okay y'all! here he is! The king of all evil, Grim!

Or not!

Eastern Weasel Parade!

Lunetta: Howdy folks, and welcome to luxorious 1314 East Celebration St. in San Frinsisco! I'm Lunetta Star here to commentate the event with my partner, Old Joe Otter!

Old Joe: Hi! Lunetta, what do you think of the weather today?

Lunetta: Well, to tell the truth, it's a bit wet out here, don't you think?

Old Joe: Well, I LOVE rainy weather! That's why I came to watch!

Lunetta: Mmmkay? Oooh, Joe, I see the first float coming our way! It's from the Chinese Weasel Carnival that showed up last year, and I guess it's making it's turn into town today just for us at the Eastern Weasel Parade!

Old Joe: Oh, look at the city lights!

Lunetta: Oh my, and they look stunning as we pass our next float, The Snowy Stoat. I heard that float had some technical difficulties on the way up here. Why? Because the snowy stoat that you see is alive!

Old Joe: Who is this beauty on the San Fransisco bay? Why it's none other than Madonna Stoat!

Lunetta: Oh, she's absolutely marvelous as she passes the street and heads for the harbor.

Old Joe: Hey, don't look now, but I see our surprise guest heading up here to greet us for her interview! Who is it? It's the beautiful, the ravishing, the gorgeous, the--

Lunetta: It's Charlotte!

Charlotte: (waves) Hi, everyone!

Lunetta: So, I hear that you're getting married.

Charlotte: Huh? What're you talking about?

Lunetta: To Ermin!!! It was all over the news! Didn't you hear?

Charlotte: WHAT!?!?!?!? ERMIN GET OVER HERE!!!

(Ermin sulks in)

Ermin: Uh, hi... Heheh... GOTTA GO!!!!

Charlotte: FREEZE!!! What did you tell the reporters???

Ermin: Um, nothing!

Charlotte: Sorry, you'll have to excuse us for a sec. YEAH, ERMIN, YOU'D BETTER RUN!!!!

Lunetta: Uh, you know, I think we should get back to the parade!

Old Joe: Yeah! For sure! Hey, look! It's the Celebrate Evil float, led by--who else--Ginger!

Lunetta: Hey, look, she's doing something! She's--Oh wow.

Old JOe: Wow is right. LEt's forget that happened!!!!

LUNETTA: OMG!!!! It's charlotte! She looks absolutely captivating tonight on her very own float!

Old Joe: Look at her! Absolutely bbeautiful, is she not? Did you hear aboout her victory in the beauty pagent?

Lunetta: Hmph. (grumble grumble) So she won a car. I could've won that contest if I wanted to. I just wanted to let her win. You know, make her feel special since she was new to town that day.

Old Joe: But she wasn't new to town, you were!

Lunetta: SHUT UP!!! Oh, whaddya know, it's Onyx!

Old Joe: Who?

Lunetta: MY sister! Oh, look at her go by! She's beautiful!

Old Joe: But, why is she on a float if she's not rich or famous?

Lunetta: BEcause she too, is a new member of Stoats-eat-oats, all the way from China!

She came just to see the parade!

Old Joe: From CHINA!?!? That's a little bit out there don't ya think?

Lunetta: So? She loves oats, even though they way she eats them, they taste more bitter. OKay, OKAY!!! They're so bitter that it took her twelve years to adjust to them!

Old JOe: Wow. She's gorgeos!

Lunetta: i know! And here she is as our guest speaker!

Onyx: (giggles) Um, hi... Heehee!

Old Joe: So why did you come to stoats eat oats?

Onyx: BEcause of the weather. It's so crisp and brisk, so.. so... ready for me. I love my family which is also why I moved.

Lunetta: aw, I love you too, sis! Say, how do you know English?

Onyx: I took classes before I came!

Old Joe: Say, what's an onyx?

Onyx: It's type of black stone or mineral. It's very beautilful.

Old Joe: And so are you! Thank you for joining us today, as we wrap up the Eastern Weasle Parade! Thank you for joining us!

Onyx: My pleasure! See ya round!

Lunetta: Indeed!

Martin to the rescue!

So, anyways, ya. I hate all of you because you all eat oats when all i want to eat is cheese. because of this, you'll all be dead in the morning. congratulations.

anonymous voice from nowhere: congrats to you too!!!! congrats for being the first stoat ever to get a woopin' from Martin Ed Stoat!!!

WHAT!?!?!?

Martin: Let go of Lunetta and my town. (growls) Now.

NO! THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T WANT TO BE OVER-POWERED BY SOME WIERDO WHOSE MIDDLE NAME IS ED!!!!

Martin: Uh, can we forget about that part?

Other anonymous voice from nowhere: Of course, sonny.

Martin: Old Joe, you came back!

Old Joe: Of course! You guys are my type of people! I mean, who else would let me eat honeycoated-oats in public?

NO!!! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Old Joe: Step aside, little baby! Watch me do my thing. (picks up Ginger)

No, no. Hey. HEY!!! What are you doing? NO! HEY!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Old Joe: (brushes paws) I wasn't V.I.P. in shotput during college for nothing!

Martin: Wow, she really covered some distance. Oh my gosh, she's still going!

a 3rd anonymous voice from nowhere: Hey, guys. Hey, is that Ginger out the window?

Martin: Lunetta!!! Are you okay?

Lunetta: (brushes dust off) Yeah. I just need a bath. A really long bath.

Martin: OMG, Lunetta, what's wrong with your legs?

Lunetta: Nothing, Martin, I'll be fine. OOF!

Old Joe: You broke your legs... All four of them!

Martin: Well, it looks like we're going to be spending some time together.

Lunetta: (grumbles) Yeah, in the hospital. This stinks.

Old Joe: Not entirely. I don't think I'm ready to be your president. But I know someone who is. (looks at writer)

Author: Who ME???? Oh you people are so sweet! But seriously, are you sure?

All: YES!!!

Author: Really? Uh, how about I just stick to posting the news?

All: Okay!

Lunetta: But who's going to be president?

Martin: The person with the second most votes.

Lunetta: (cries with joy) That was me! Oh my gosh, I'm so proud!

MArtin: I'm so happy for you!

Old Joe: Me too!

And so readers, let our stoat friends, and our otter friend, be in peace for the moment. For the world at last, is happy and meaningful again.

New Decree by Ginger

My next decree is that if you are sad, you must come to me for answers. If not,
I will hold you all captive. Besides, its not like you're all going to be rescued! Ooo! I see a sad person! You there, Lunetta?

Lunetta: Yes?

I have all the answers. Let me solve your problems! NOW!!!!

Lunetta: No! I'm not afraid of you! This problem is between me and Martin!

Fine! SECURITY!!!!! I'm going to put you in the brig! (snorts) Or as I like to call it, the-evil-place-under-the-ground-where-people-like-you-go-BOOM!!!! MUHUHUHUHUUHUHUHUHUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lunetta: No! Please! Martin, if you're watching, I forgive you! Help me!!! Aaahh!

SHUT UP!!! DON'T LISTEN TO HER MARTIN!!!! SHE HATES YOU!!!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!! Muhuhuhuh! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday to me...

Hello, fellow stoats. It's me, your ruler, Ginger. Bow down one and all. Oh yeah! I got the power! Uhuhuh! I mean, uh, I think you may have noticed the changes going about here in our little town. Yes, they were all my doing and I'd like you to hear a plot that I've been thinking of ever since I moved here. First, I wanted you saps to trust me and believe that I was kind. Next, I waited patiently for my birthday. Then, I asked the old stupid president to let me be president for a week. (snickers) His worst move ever. Then, I turn our town into my own evil paradise. And now, here I am, about to expose his secret to you all. Old Joe is no stoat--He is an otter!!! Yes, yes, I am pleased to tell you that he is staying in Hawaii forever. He knew the moment I wanted to be the president that I would expose him. He leaves me in charge forever. But worry not. He was no great president. He was a liar, not to tell the people who cared for him and loved him about his true identity. He was also a traitor, not to come to your rescue when he knew your fate. But now, you will be under MY command! Fear me if you dare! Muhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh! (snorts) What are you looking at, CHUMPS!?!?!? Hmph! I can be evil if I want to. Size doesn't matter. I got all the way here, didn't I? Grrrrr... (tackles surrounding people) Muhuhuhuh!!! Oh, am I still on? Cut! I SAID CUT!!!! -----------

Happy Birthday, Ginger!

Ginger, our guru, is having her sixth birthday today! I, Old Joe, our president, have granted her one wish. What is your wish, Ginger?

Ginger: Umm... To be president for a week!

Well, Ginger, the office is waiting for you! Congratulations. (snickers) Hooray! Now I can go to Hawaii for a whole week! See ya! Ginger's gonna post now! I'll be back in a week!

Welcome your new president! (I'm serious this time!!!)

After over a week of available voting our proud president has arrived, and will now take over the posting of updates. (sniffles) Which means, I won't be posting anymore. Your new president will. Oh, well! Say hello to your new president...

Old Joe!

Congratulations, Joe, we are so happy for you! What is your first motion as President?

Joe: Well... Hmm... I know now! A BIG, ROUND, CAKE!!!!

Well, I guess I'll sign off here (I'd better get working on that cake!) . See ya round! I'll always be somewhere here... You just won't know where. Adios, amigos!

Ring the Wedding Bells!

An unexpected marriage was announced yesterday by the most unexpected couple... ladies & gentleman... give it up for... CHARLOTTE AND ERMIN!!! It was rather surprising, but congrats!

The Wolf is found... NOT GUILTY!!! WHOOP WHOOP!!!!

After five possible days of voting, the wolf is found unguilty of crime against Martin the Stoat! The wolf plans to stay here in Stoats-eat-oats and has volunteered to be a lookout on the outskirts of town.

Our President has arrived!

All the votes are in! The winner is..................................................................................

Not tellin' ya yet!!!!

But I thought I'd say that you are allowed to help in the raising of the votes by drawing and sending a picture of your favorite candidate! it might even be put up on the site. Enjoy!

Martin Speaks the Truth!!!

Martin has recovered enough to speak the truth of the horrible thing that attacked him. He says it was a blind wolf pup. He believes it pounced on him by mistake. It was brought here to be interrogated. "Who's there? Where am I?" asks the blind pup. "I'm scared! Where's my mama?" he whines. "You're with the S.P.F.F!!!" cries an anonymous voice in the darkness. "The what?!?" he asks. "The Stoat Police Force Five!" cries the voice. "You almost killed one of our members, you numbskull!" "No,I didn't... All I did was pounce on an unusually fluffy mound of grass! I'm sorry if I did something wrong... Really sorry..." the pup whispers. "Unforgiven!" cries the voice. "I always do everything wrong! I'm so stupid!" howls the pup. "No you're not," comforts a sweet voice. "I'm not? Who are you?" asks the pup. "A friend. My name is Lunetta, and I forgive you. Come with me and we'll go into my house until we find out if you're not guilty. Do you like onion soup?" asks Lunetta, nudging him on. "Um, I think so..." replies the blind pup.



Here's the captive:

Vote now: Is he guilty of crime... or NOT?

Eastern Weasel Parade!

The annual eastern weasel parade will be held at Celebration St. in San Fransisco. Ermin and the Rolling Stoats will be preforming, along with artists like Squeak-Squeak, Lil' Pine-pine, Madonna Stoat, and a special singing preformance by a secret famous face! Here's where to find Celebration St. :

1314 East Celebration St.

After the the parade, go to the Mayor's House and enter the Banquet Hall. It should look like this:

Please come to the parade! It'll be more than worth it!

Charlotte Wins Beauty Pagent!

Charlotte won by one vote! Here is one of the pictures she sent in:

Charlotte, we're very proud! Congratulations to-- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! JEALOUS BEAUTY PAGENT CONTESTANTS!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!! THE PRIZE IS A STOAT CONVERTABLE! AAAAAHH!!!! CONGRATS!!!! SAVE YOURSELVES!!!!

Horoscopes by Ginger

Enjoy these horoscopes by Guru Ginger!

Martin: Health is coming over the bridge, young one.

Old Joe: Youth is a thing of the past, especially yours.

Lunetta: A success is in your wing.

Charlotte: Fame arises at noon.

Fonzo: A new home will be found.

Ermin: Say goodbye to a life of loneliness.

Madonna: I'm gonna make this real simple. Drop the mirrors!!!

Hope you enjoyed these horoscopes! More of these will come in the mysterious FUTURE!

Guru moves into town!!!

Guru Ginger moves into town. She is willing to tell everyone's futures. Hooray!

Okay, so she's a little young, but she's smart! SO MAYBE I GOT RIPPED OFF, IT'S NOT YOUR PROBLEM!!!!!

Stoat for President!!!!

Check out our new flag! Pretty cool, huh? Post your vote for the newest stoat president!

Visit Martin in the hospital!

Sigh... Well, I must admit, I was against Martin's getting up, but he felt he just HAD to see you all... Here you go...

Martin: Oh, hey guys! I missed you...

Lunetta: That looks like it hurts... Are you okay?

Martin: I'll be fine, stop worrying!

Old Joe: She has every right to worry after what you did to yourself! Well in all of my days, I never!

Odey: (whimpers)

Charlotte: Get out the way!!! Martin! I missed you so much! STOP PUSHING, ODEY! Gosh, you'd think a stoat could see her brother without the crowd...

Dr. Piny: I agree with Charlotte! One at a time please! Charlotte, you first!

Lunetta: Awwww...

Odey: (whimpers)

Old Joe: I just can't keep up with them young whipper-snappers!

Charlotte: Hehahahaha! Pbt!

(everyone leaves but Charlotte)

Martin: Hey sis!

Charlotte: Hey big bro! You okay? Do you remember what attacked you?

Martin: (freezes)

Charlotte: Martin?? Martin!!!

Dr. Piny: STOP!!! He's not ready to speak about this yet! Charlotte, I think you'd better leave!

Stoat Beauty Pagent!

Enter the stoat's first annual beauty pagent! The judges are: Madonna Stoat, Old Joe, and Ermin! Enter today and the let the judging begin!

Contestants:

= Lunetta

= Charlotte

= Henrietta

= Donna Joe

= the world champion winner, 'Veronica'!

So please vote for your favorite entrant now!

The Pine Marten... Does it stay... or go?...

After three days of available voting, we've come to a decision......

THE PINE MARTEN STAYS!!!

Hooray! Here he is from inside his log, all happy and free. His name will be Fonzo. Fonzo is only available for me to adopt, but you can play with him whenever you like! Enjoy!

Ermin the stoat moves to town!

Ermin from the Rolling Stoats plans to move into a beach house in Stoats-eat-oats! Here's what happened during an interview:

Ronald from Stoat News 10: So Ermin, what made you decide to stay here in Stoats-eat-oats?

Ermin: Well, Ronnie boy, I guess it's just the friendly citizens here. That, and this town makes some darn good oats!

Ronald: Did you hear about the pine marten found on the outskirts of town?

Ermin: Yes, I did! He's my cousin!!!

Ronald: OH!!! So I guess you're voting for him to stay?


Ermin: Definitely! He's very sweet and kind, but he doesn't like oats...

Ronald: GASP!!!

Ermin: What? Is that going to be a problem?

Ronald: (coughs) Uh, no! Of course not! Heheheheheheh... It's just that everyone here loves oats, and well, he might be thought of as a bit of a freak!

Ermin: (growls) OH REALLY?

Ronald: Well, uh, YES! It's nothing personal! Anyone who doesn't like oats would be a creep!

Ermin: GRRRR!!!! (tackles Ronald)

Well, eheh, now you know a little more about Ermin... Uh, listen, I'm not discussing the details of the fight, okay?... WILL YOU STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!?!?

Sup, stoat lovers?

Please welcome our newest addition to the stoat family adoption center, Rocky!


http://www.robertweselmann.com/images/pine_martin2.jpg = Rocky

Hunting Season Begins Today!!!

Stoats, get ready! The rabbits are out and we're hungry! Sign up for hunting lessons today!

You won't be sorry! (However, the rabbits will!)

Feed the Pine Marten!

The Pine Marten that we found is hungry! To donate a bag of oats, click on comments and type in the code: Quakeroatsyumyum. The pine marten appreciates it and we still don't know if we're keeping it, so vote now!

Lost Pine Marten...

To the sad findings of some oat collectors, we have found a sad and alone pine marten, starving in the snow. He is currently being fed oats underneath a warm shelter of a log until we vote on the final decision... Does he stay?.... Or does he go?...
Post your vote now...

The Winter Season Has Started!!!

Shed your summer coats, stoats! It's winter! The stoats will be provided with thier share of oats for the winter "stoat hustle". Stoats beware of deep snow and hiding predators...

The Stoat and I (starring 'unknown')

Check out a stoat flick and family favorite, The Stoat and I!!!


http://www.dukeofprunes.co.uk/stoats/index.php?Qwd=.&Qif=stoat1.gif&Qiv=thumbs&Qis=M = The Stoat and I

My Favorite Pine Marten (starring 'unkown')

Enjoy the coolest and funniest film made yet, "MY FAVORITE PINE MARTEN" !!!


http://www.dukeofprunes.co.uk/stoats/index.php?Qwd=.&Qif=oiamole.gif&Qiv=thumbs&Qis=M = My Favorite Pine Marten

Stoat Diaries (starring Charlotte)

The Stoat Diaries is now playing! Click on this link to watch it:

http://www.dukeofprunes.co.uk/stoats/index.php?Qwd=.&Qif=topper.gif&Qiv=thumbs&Qis=M = The Stoat Diaries!

Stoats Eat Oats Presents: Oatley Theater!

Howdy, fellow stoats! Oatley Theater is coming to town and you could be first in line to buy "tickets". All you have to do is post what show you want to see. The maximum theater capacity is 10 stoats per show. Here are the latest shows:

My Favorite Pine Marten

The Stoat and I

Stoat Diaries

Hope you enjoy these shows!

Phew!

Phew! All is well in stoat town. Garfield is safe. This is how it all went down:

Bad Benny: I'M H-H-HUNG-RAY!!!

Aqua: Get away y-y-you b-b-big m-m-meanie!

Bad Benny: I'm b-b-bad to the BONE!! OWW!!

Odey: (pants) Dee-doyee!!

Garfield: Don't eat me! I only eat other things! Please!!!

Charlotte: I'll spin you up in a web, you neurotic badger!

Templeton: Calm down, stoats. I'll handle this. Besides: The stoat rules!

Bad Benny: Get out of my way before I--

Ripper: BACK OFF YOU FREAK OF A BADGER!!! STEP AWAY SLOWLY!!!

Bad Benny: But I--

Ripper: NOW!!!!

Bad Benny: You're kidding! If eat you stoats, I'll have enough stupid in my digestive system to rot the brain of a dolphin! I'm outta here!

Aqua: Hooray! We did it!

Weazy & Stella : (both) How?

Luana: Who knows?


Well, at least we know that we won't hear from Benny for a LONG time! :)

First Badger Attack!

Run for your lives! Bad Benny is heading over to the nest of Garfield. Don't worry! I've called the badger rehab center and they're on thier way! As stoat-lovers, we must stand united!

http://www.nigelandlibbyceramics.co.uk/gallery/albums/Libbys_Ceramics/LC_Stoats.thumb.jpg = united stoats


Hurry! Grab your stoats and center them in front of the entrance to thier nests! We won't let Benny get away with this! EVER!!!

WANTED STOAT EATER!!!!!!!

Watch out! Bad Benny Badger has his eyes on Templeton, Garfield, and Martin! Owners of these stoats, beware of this Badger!

Say hello to Ripper and more!

http://www.the-river-thames.co.uk/mink.jpg = Ripper

http://www.aquila-uk.net/images/mink.jpg = Aqua

http://www.forestry.gov.uk/images/1018325big.jpg/$FILE/1018325big.jpg = Old Joe

http://www.lairgestate.co.uk/images/Fauna/stoat.jpg = Luana

Welcome to Tiki!

http://www.converge.org.nz/ntsth/images/stoat1.jpg = Tiki

New Stoats for Adoption!

Check 'em out!

http://www.swt.org.uk/images/photos/0.6_wildlife_stoat_DS.gif = Emma

http://cal.man.ac.uk/student_projects/2002/MNBF9ALS/weasel.gif = Robin

http://www.mtuk.org/content/mammal/carnivores/stoat.jpg = Templeton

http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/img/life/stoat311003.jpg = Charlotte

Adopt-a-stoat!

Hey, stoat lovers! Would you like to "adopt-a-stoat"? All you have to do is this:

1. Click on the link to see the stoats.
2. Type the name of the stoat on the comments board. Enjoy!

Enjoy these stoats!

http://www.uksafari.com/postcard/pictures/stoats.jpg = Weazy & Stella

http://www.nature-shetland.co.uk/brc/pics/stoats.jpg = Luna

http://www.dairylandfarmworld.com/images/farmpark/ANIMALSs.jpg = Odey

http://www.kaipatiki.org.nz/images/weas.jpg = Garfield

http://www.toothandclaw.org.uk/upload/files/Pine%20Marten1001.jpg = Martin

http://www.treepics.co.uk/education/animals/stoat/1.jpg = Laweasel

Welcome to Stoats Eat Oats!

Welcome to "Stoats Eat Oats!", the website where I do whatever I want! Woo-hoo! Freedom! :) But as long as you're here, I bet you're wondering what the heck a stoat is! It's my favorite animal! It's sort of like a weasel (or at least, that's what I keep telling everybody!). A stoat's diet consists of rabbits, eggs, and birds. ( :( It's a shame they don't eat oats!) A stoat kills it's prey by biting into the back of it's neck, near the skull. They also change their coats during the winter. Reddish-brown to frosty white. Stoats live pretty much in the U.S. and Asia, usually in moorland, farmland, and some other places that I can't remember! Anyways, the name of the website has EVERYTHING to do with it, so if you don't like stoats, GET OUT! Thanks for checking out Stoats Eat Oats! I post weekly or whenever I can! Keep checking back! See ya later!